The gift of time…

My daughter recently taught me how to look at time even hard times as a gift. I shared with her how hard it was to watch and wait as dementia stole my father. It is an agonizingly slow disease that creeps and crawls all through the body taking precious memories, communication and more, much more. My father was agile, athletic, strong. He would have hated becoming dependent on others. It was not easy to seem this person who had cared for us fade away.

I confessed to my daughter how I prayed that he did not have to endure disease any longer. This sweet child of mine ever so gently reminded me that since it was a slow process, I had been prepared for what was coming. I was allowed to make the most of the time because I realized it was ending. She shared that she thought it would be much harder to endure the sudden unexpected death of a loved one.

Her words were comforting. We had been allowed to spend time with Daddy in the earliest onset asking questions and talking about the past. His childhood stories growing up in Commerce are a treasure. Driving him around when he couldn’t drive any more wasn’t a burden but another opportunity for what I call “car talk.” There is no where to run and hide in a moving vehicle–the prime opportunity for conversation. As he declined and could no longer live at home, we saw his eyes light up when we visited even though he couldn’t speak.

Daddy’s time on earth just recently came to an end. He lived for 86 years and 6 days. We were blessed to spend the last two days with him. Those hours spent with my mother and brother by Daddy’s bedside holding his hand and sharing memories are precious.

I ache that Daddy suffered from dementia for so many years. I can only pray that it was much easier on Daddy to endure than it was for those of us who loved him to watch.

Time is precious… let’s spend it wisely

Joy